Body Language & NLP

People often ask me how do you read people’s body language?

Is it possible to spot a liar? I want to be able to understand what people are really feeling - can I learn how to read body language?

I’ll discuss and write about some very interesting perspectives about how to read body language through my blogs. I think to begin with it's important to stay opened and learn how to simply observe - like a dectitive look at all the clues before making any judgements or decisions about what you might be seeing. As you'll soon see and understand the key to reading body language is in your skill and ability of acute observation.

You have to see the individual – as just that… An individual.

NLP Body LanguageIt’s important when reading body language to remember that the person’s age, culture, upbringing, language, social economic status, life experiences should all be taken into consideration. For example Japanese will often cover their mouths when they smile, as it’s considered rude to show your teeth.

Other people may have learned the “look to talk” rule – meaning they have been told many times… “look at me when you’re talking to me” whilst other families or cultures have the “don’t look to talk rule”.

So when looking at the skill and art of reading body language - whilst it’s possible to generalise, it’s more important to interpret by taking into consideration the whole person, their background and not simply individual body or eye movements. The whole of the person must be taken into consideration.

“When speechless, let body do the talk.” Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

One of the NLP presuppositions “Respect the other persons model of the world” which means taking into consideration that everyone has had their own individual experiences and beliefs. NLP practitioners are trained in learning about the importance of “calibration”.

Calibration is the skill of observation. NLP pracititoner’s learn about the importance of getting to know the individual person and learning how to pay attention to everything – for example: being aware of how the body movements; facial expressions; tone of voice; gestures; accents on certain words may change as they talk about certain situations or experience emotions. Because it's important Never to Assume. “Never Assume – it makes an ASS out of U and Me” Unknown.

Paying Attention

By learning how to pay attention with practise you can begin to train yourself to notice even the micro-muscle movements that everyone displays. To be able to read body language effectively – takes practise. Practise in paying attention… learning how to listen with your eyes and see things with your ears, it also involves being able to tune into the feelings you experience as you converse or watch other people. And be aware of the importance to do this without judgement, without expectations.

"We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are" The Talmud

If you hold an intention to “catch someone out” you’ll find that you’ll do just that – as this is all you are focusing on – however, is it the whole picture? or are you only focusing on what you want and not really paying attention to what is going on. Your intention and emotional involvement can have a huge impact what you see.

How Do I Start to Learn About Body Language?

If you’d like to learn how to read body language, you can start by simply being more observant of yourself. Become more aware of your own body language: become conscious of how you move your body; the gestures you use; your tone of voice; your choice of words; the volume of your voice; notice the areas of tension and areas that are relaxed. Learn how to Pay Attention and Observe what you do when you feel a certain way. And then remember – you are unique, other people may react differently to how you do when you are in a specific feeling or state of being.

Your Resources & References

Recommended Reading:Non Verbal Communication - Albert Mehrabian

Training available: 1 Day NLP Workshop -  What's Behind the Words

Alternatively Contact Deborah directly on 0402 623 375 or email your questions here

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